I hate European scum

We had an absolutely heavenly time (albeit frustrating with the play and people, etc) in Chiang Mai, in northern Thailand, and silly really, I just assumed that the rest of my experiences here would be as delightful, as magical. We came to Phuket to lay on the beach. That is all we wanted. Sun, sand, surf… (turns out no surf. Even less than LA which is saying something! Not even a blip of surf, not a wavelet or hiccup. Just calm, smooth water without even a current. Who knew?) maybe a massage or two. You may recall the name Phuket because of a little tsunami that hit here a couple of years ago. No worries though; from what I can see they are rebuilding very fast, there are no obvious places where damage can still be seen, the economy appears to be thriving and new and improved resorts and spas are popping up daily). But what we were not expecting was the European equivalent of Cabo. Everywhere we look it’s Germans, Swiss, and Dutch. All the restaurants are Thai and Swedish or Thai and German, seriously, you have to see it to believe it. Good luck finding delicious vegetarian Thai food. Everything is twice as expensive as it was in Chiang Mai, the shop vendors suddenly very pushy: they do this thing here where they touch you to make you stay in their shop. I feel accosted and walk around with a defensive body posture. I side step outstretched hands and constantly tell the Indian clerks not to touch me. It’s creepy and weird and I am itching to hit someone in the face. Not to mention all the chain smoking frigging Europeans! I mean, if I had wanted to go to Europe I would have. If I wanted to eat wienerschnitzel I would not have come to Thailand! They are rude and sun burned and stupid. It’s like the horrible Americans in Cabo! Ugly, obtuse, with no desire for local flavor. They want America in another country, or Europe in Thailand. And the complete lack of body awareness! There are certain rules about bathing suit wearing: namely, if you do not have a sexy body you should not wear a thong. If you are not a competitive swimmer you should not wear a speedo. If your belly hangs so far over your own body it obscures your bikini bottom, you were not meant to wear two-piece bathing suits. If your nipples can lean over and touch your belly button- you should not wear a string bikini top. If you are not better looking naked than clothed you should not go naked on the beach. Shriveled old lady nipples went out in the Dark Ages. The concept of a line is lost on these people. Both when it is being crossed and when there is an actual one with people in it. They seem to think nothing of jumping in ahead of everyone else. We leave tomorrow. Not nearly soon enough.